don't burst my tears again...

wazup...
yesterday i ad type a post...
but damn god..
i cannot post it
coz the damn ****ing compuer...
yesterday i wasn't moody...
well...
got a little larr...
but at the end...
stupid computer and family burst my happpy mood...
and turn it into tears...

我很容易哭


我也不知道为什么

我每天每秒都好想哭

但是

我不能每秒都那么坚强。。

我想

我没有资格做cool tomboy

我

只是一个crybaby

每天只会哭

哭哭哭

是我发泄的好方法

对我来说

有些事情

哭过了

就算了

但是不是每一样都能。。

我不想再哭了。。。

但我能吗？
 
i have friends...
friends that are back-stabbers..
friends that couldnt be trust...
friends that are avoiding me..
friends that think that i'm invisible..
friends that even insult me....
but..
i couldnt always want them to treat me good...
but i didn't
they treat me bad..
but i still care about them....
i don't care what they said about me...
but...
i can't resist anymore...
it's time to stop
stop all those bad and horrible things and
THINK
 
even my best and greatest friends have secrets behind my back..
i told her everything..
but..
i think i was just talking to myself...
 
what's it like to be lonely...
uncomfortable...
sad..
moody..
its terrible..
 
我不是没前途


但是

我为什么要证明给你看

老师每次说

7个A 不是给老师或家长看

是给自己看

但。。

我不想看。。。

我只要努力

就够了。。。

就算了。。。

就走了。。。



我已经不是你们认识的cool tomboy

我已经没有资格做cool tomboy


你

每天都在批评我。。。

从头到脚都在批评

现在

连衣服也好批评

你知道吗？

我受够了

我不要听了

你是的妈妈

你连爱都不给。。。

反而一天到晚都在骂我。。。

我知道。。

我拿了2个A

你都不骂我。。

对。。

你很＂好＂

好到我都不动要怎么感谢你！！

 
i always think
just a few more months
then can start over
happy happy again...
but..
the problem is i cannot let it all go...
its not like the sand can be blewn away by wind in my hands..
its like rocks...
heavy rocks...
 
i have no more excuse to be a  cooltomboy anymore...
i have nothing in life....
i have only BlacK
i don't have any WhitE...
 
i can fall....
but i can't stand back up...
i need someone to help me..
but i somehow don't let someone to help...
i'm just somebody..
no..
i'm just nobody...
why am i a nobody..
how should i know...
 
i cried last night..
i cried this morning...
i cried in my heart everyday...
i can't stop those wicked tears anymore...
i cried because i was sad..
i cried because i was happy..
i cried because i was useless...
i cried because i was lonely....
 
i had enough with other people judging me...
so what...
yes..
i am sensitive..
yes..
i am useless..
yes..
i am stupid...
but did i ever even 得罪 you??
ornot why u all keep judging me??
 
stop ady..
no more typing..
i'm falling again..
and i don't want to stand up...
i'm not cool tomboy anymore.....