yesterday and today... hope has lost....

okay readers.. its gonna be w allitle conplicated for you all now...
so...
the grey letters are the things i type yesterday..
and the normal a.k.a. black colour is today type d...
becoz yesterday i type until half and then my brother...
haizz..
will tell you later...
so.. pls enjoy..
maybe it will be a little long..
but just read until the end...

Yesterday [25/06/2010]
hey..
yea..
i'm kinda busy right now..
chatting with puimun..
eh?
she didnt chat ad..
haizz..
eh?
gt ad..
hauizzzzz....


readers...
theres this huge thing i wanna tell you..
omg...
i think its big..
and im sick of it..


its this..
my mom..
you should now she is a teacher...
if you dunno..
keep reading..
if you know...
skip the blue words part..
my mom is the math and add math teacher of Sek. 4
yea..
nothing big...
but heres what..
joeyi..
her mom is big...
her mom b4 was catholic high school teacher..
and then turn to sek.4
then back to catholic coz of joeyi's brother...
then of course..
joeyi is totally going to CHS...
and we're gonna break apart..
thats totally not COOL
so...
this the big deal..
my mom wanna sent me to catholic..
i was like can meh??
she said as a teacher she has the right to decide where the hell school she wants me to go...
i thinking Usher's song OMG....
omg..........
this means
1)
me and Joeyi can be together like years.... so awesome.... so gret.. then we wouldnt be apart... but
2)
i'm gonna say bye to my beloved sek.4... no..... thats so not good.. i mean.. i ad gt "feel" to sek. 4 ad...
last year.. i wanted to be in the Majalah sekolah... i thought that was just so great..
then now...
i had to sacrifice just for joeyi....
did i did the right choice???
or not...
i cannot leave sek. 4 behind but i cannot catch CSH also...
thats wat my mind was thinking this few days....
and..
what if at CHS dun hav lengzai???
all NERDZZZZ...
wth!!!


if you are thinking
"wahh.. good loh.. can go CHS.."
i'm gonna shout and scream to you!!!!
lifes sucks when u find it hard to make choices....

Today [26/06/2010]
wth...
yesterday sorry..
coz my borther..
he just pissed me up and then i..
haizzz....
tears falling out....
i dunno wth why..
its like this....
when i was typing until the end of the grey part....
my brother came and just said give him to play computer...
he just keep kacau me and then i betahan ad....
then i just run out of the room..
and lay down on the sofa...
nobody in the house knew i was crying that time...
so you all don't simply say..
i dunno why i cry...
i just very....
conplicated...
confusing...
very fan..
all my problems just make me dizzy...
i lay at there about 45 min and then i sleep..
when i wake up....
its about 10 sumting....
when i sleep is 9 sumting....
i think..
thank god my tears are dry....
ornot other ppl can see....
when i lay at sofa...
my tears "roll" until my back...
so wet...
i just cannot control myself...
so many damn freaking problemss....
blog...
future...
friends....
***
and 0.0001% of xxx....
no larr..
who cares about him
that sucker...

i cannot help it....
i can't tahan to make a fake smile to my friends..
but i also cannot go moody moody at my friends..
like today..
suddenly waikit ask me why i not same like normal days..
what can i do??
i just smile...
i think thats fake..
you cant make a smile from a sad person..
but you could try...

i cannot resist..
i must type..
***
why did i wanna hav feelings on you..
i just wanna hav a way to forget xxx...
who knew..
i would be that hurt...
actually not hurt..
i just..
too deep...
haizzz...
who the hell knew that this would happen..
haiszzzz..
i thought it was just the begining so i wouldnt so care about it...
we were friends before..
then we stop talking...
we were like avoiding each other..
but i just keep it natural...
then this happen....
but..
i know i'm not scare...
i just know i have to go on...
one more year...
my mind keep thinking
"one more year to go and i can start oever..
nobody knows who LeRan is when she is old...
then i can start over again...
have a new life..."
but..
can my dreams come true....
lately..
none has been perfect....
haizzz.....

hope lately someone can make me happy...
just like the old me...
happy...
no problems...
but still...
no freedom.....
=[
i'll try all my luck to....
SMILE =]

-CoolTomboy